Not that it matters, the rule of my being responsible for my own feelings is not contingent upon everyone around me behaving 'reasonably'. If that were a stipulation I would never need to take responsibility for my feelings!
I think I should explain this better. If in x
amount of time, nothing has changed or if it's obvious he isn't meeting my needs from him, and I stay unhappy, then it's my fault. I think I should give him the chance to do what he can to make me feel differently, if that's important to him, and then if he chooses not to do anything to help me feel differently, I can move on knowing that I did my bit by being forthcoming and communicating. Definitely, if I allow myself to stay in a situation that causes me to be unhappy and there is no prospect of things ever changing, that's my doing. There is one thing we could do with the calender booking in advance thing and that, if it works how it is supposed to, would alleviate these feelings. Then, what they did with each other would impact less on me and we could have what we have and will have happily. Again, I just resent all this super serious calender stuff so early on.
Oh, and, they basically have a DADT so sharing calender with her would be a complete no no. She has every tell tale sign of not being okay with non monogamy.