Thread: Dispensable.
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Old 06-07-2013, 12:24 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
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Originally Posted by london View Post
Generally, I agree with this, but, I feel like if one person is displaying behaviour that is unreasonable or even harmful, then they do have some responsibility to why that person is left feeling negatively. I think the behaviour on his part that is unreasonable at this time is continuing this instability where it could have been resolved by now.
Which behavior? Not telling his girlfriend that he doesn't want to be monogamous?

Not that it matters, the rule of my being responsible for my own feelings is not contingent upon everyone around me behaving 'reasonably'. If that were a stipulation I would never need to take responsibility for my feelings!

Originally Posted by london View Post
I really want us to have a solid friendship but not a stagnant one, one that grows and develops. That is undeniably very important to me to have with him and I feel like this situation threatens the possibilities of us having that. If we can't have that then we could never have anything else.
I don't have any idea what you mean by this. I have 'solid friendships' with my close friends but I don't know how that would imply that they should 'grow and develop'. Can you clarify what it is that you are expecting from this friend?

What kind of friendship is it which requires that he and his girlfriend make concessions to your insecurity about your... friendship?
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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