They are in no way responsible for your feelings of security. You are responsible for your feelings in every way
Generally, I agree with this, but, I feel like if one person is displaying behaviour that is unreasonable or even harmful, then they do have some responsibility to why that person is left feeling negatively. I think the behaviour on his part that is unreasonable at this time is continuing this instability where it could have been resolved by now.
I know the calender thing is what needs doing but it seems so... demanding and as I said before, not something I would want to be doing in a relationship at this stage.
And just to clarify, I don't love this guy. I feel like he is a friend that I have awesome sex with and I want to see regularly. I am physically and romantically attracted to him, but he isn't my boyfriend. I wouldn't want him to be my boyfriend yet in any case. I really want us to have a solid friendship but not a stagnant one, one that grows and develops. That is undeniably very important to me to have with him and I feel like this situation threatens the possibilities of us having that. If we can't have that then we could never have anything else.