Thanks for the reassurances. I haven't been offended by anything, just trying to get my footing.
I'm meeting with Mike tomorrow to discuss some of this stuff. Had a looong discussion with my husband last night about how I'm feeling, and how he's feeling, and we're on the same page, at least right now. He truly is okay with me seeing Mike. We're thinking that if what I'm having with Mike right now is short-lived, then we can just keep with the status quo. However, if it looks like it might be more long-term, then husband and I need to renegotiate our relationship in order to make it fair to him. What that renegotiation would look like, neither of us yet knows. I told him that he should be given the same freedom I was having, and he seemed okay with that. (That being said, however, I'm honestly still not sure if I can be not somewhat jealous. If I can't shake that, then the best course would be to forget polyamory altogether.) He has no interest right now in going outside the marriage again.
I don't have lots of poly friends at the moment, just Mike and his girlfriends, and another triad back in my home state. They all seem to be making it work wonderfully well, and I'd love to ask more questions about it, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I agree that talking to actual people in person is probably a good way for me to go.
I appreciate all your comments here.