Originally Posted by Chimera
Oh please don't do this. Let him also be his own individual and approach relationships how he wants to just like you are. I really despise this kind of "it's okay, but only if I'm involved" kind of stance. If you both have that policy, well that's one thing, but since you are your own free agent with Mike, this reeks to me of jealousy and control. And hypocrisy.
I'm speaking from far too much experience with this kind of thing (not in my relationships but via others) and it always seems to lead to conflict. Enjoy the fact that he loves you and trusts you and show him the same respect.
Hear hear. Not only that, this is an ineffective strategy for controlling jealousy. All it will do is make it so that you witness every caress, every kiss, every moan, every shudder in person... which is cool if you're just into the voyeurism and group sex aspects (though they would still deserve privacy if/when they want it), but which is *awful* if you're still dealing with jealousy/insecurity. Do you really want to be in the position to directly compare how he responds differently with her versus with you? Or how she responds differently with him than with you?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.