Originally Posted by unloaded88
I understand what your syaing about self-reassurance and dealing with my own issues. Normally I have no problem doing that. Unfortunately circumstances, I believe, have changed a bit.
Couple more factors I forgot to include:
1. I have told her that I need a more physical affection and she has let me know that she is unable to provide that.
2. She cant say "I love you". If I say it I get silence, or "I know".
3. There has been zero interest to spend time with me since shes been back.
So bad timing I guess.
I believe I deserve to be loved. I am a loving human being and I act with integrity, honesty, and intimacy in my relationships. It kind of sheds light on the situation writing it down. I am not getting back what I'm freely giving out.
First of all, big hug and please accept that I may just be projecting here and I may be COMPLETELY WRONG, but, since you're asking... what I'm hearing is that you already feel that you "know" that she's pulling away, or not really in love, or whatever... but her words and your lack of certainty about how being poly changes the dynamics of relationships that you thought you "knew" is confusing the issue and making you wonder if you need to just hang on and be patient cuz, hey, maybe you don't really know and this is how it's supposed to go and if only you could be more secure in yourself, or not feel scared, or.... This is an awfully hard place to be. I'm sorry you are dealing with it. If this sounds like it might be on track, let's talk about it some more. If not, sooooooooo sorry, again, I could be wrong.
5 Love Languages is a Christian book, but does indeed put forth a useful concept.