Originally Posted by Creatress
I don't know if poly is the right word for me.
I suppose it doesn't MATTER when I don't have any relationship, let alone more than one.
But I don't want to be a secondary (again). At this point in my life, I need to be the only really important one for a while. I need to heal, because in this last relationship, my needs ALWAYS came last or there was emotional hell to pay, and I need some healthy adoration and respect.
Well, I think you're still poly, but that's because your description of where you are emotionally sounds hauntingly familiar (not the violence part) and I still think I'm poly, so.... I have to believe that you can get your needs met, and be adored, and respected, even if the person/people who do that have other relationships. It's not the poly thing that's the problem, in other words, it's falling in love with people who don't treat you with acceptance and respect. Focus on getting that and see what happens.