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Old 06-05-2013, 04:29 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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My life is crazy this month. I'm rehearsing non-stop for an upcoming play, dealing with stressful stuff at work, prepping for a weekend kinky camping trip with Clay, planning a week-long solo trip out of state next month. It feels like almost too much. The solo trip will be good for me, I think. An opportunity to recharge, relax, and spend quality time with my primary partner, the one person who I know will always be with me... myself.

What about my other partners, then?

Davis joined me and Bee on a trip to the diner the other day. It was the first time that he and Bee have spent any length of time together. He did a good job of helping out, and Bee was well-behaved. It was a big deal for me, because in the past he's avoided Bee like the plague -- he dislikes babies -- and I didn't like feeling like those two parts of my life couldn't intersect. Yay!

I find myself thinking of Davis more as a best friend lately than as a pseudo-partner. He told me, very calmly, that if Clay and I stopped using barriers then he and I would need to start using them again. All I could think was that perhaps in some way that might help him move on, and that that would be a good thing. *sigh* Still not sure if I'm doing the right thing by staying in his life. I wish I could look into an alternate universe in which I'd cut off all contact with him, and see whether he'd be better or worse off in the long run. I know that's a pointless thought.

Gia and I have a date coming up this weekend. We'll have a nice, long chunk of time together. I'm very much looking forward to it, and feel unconcerned about the question of whether or not we'll have sex. Maybe that'll change as the date gets closer, but for now it's good to feel like it's really just about spending time with her.

This past weekend, at the dance night we go to, she gripped my jaw hard and spun me around, kissed my deeply, manipulated my body. I felt intoxicated by her nearness and her force. She's feeling better physically, which is a huge relief.

Clay and I went about a week and a half without seeing each other, and I was so busy that I didn't really have time to miss him. It was nice to anticipate seeing him next without feeling like I was aching over it.

We finally saw each other last night, at a small kink event he runs. Both of his more serious partners, Izzy and Nikki, were there, along with some of his more casual play partners as well. Once again, I felt like he did a great job of splitting his time and focus. We did some fun, relatively mild kinky things together, and also just lazed around and chatted with his friends.

I spent some time talking to Izzy's live-in partner, June, and we got along very well. I've gotten along well with all of Clay's friends and partners so far, actually, he has good taste. I was really impressed, at this particular event, to see that one person could have so many of "their people" in one place without it seeming overwhelming. Everyone just has their own things going on... Clay is a part of their lives, whether large or small, but he's not a critical centerpiece, and this seems to work out well for all involved. The interconnected-ness within this scene (one could say incestuousness) coupled with the lack of drama (that I've seen yet, anyway) is a truly beautiful thing.

After the event, we all went back to Izzy and June's place and hung out for a little while. Izzy's other partner, Royce, was there too (I seem to know quite a number of people with three main partners each these days... three is the magic number, it seems!). Everyone was just so smiley and relaxed, and we had plenty of interesting things to talk about (mutual interests, politics, local news). Izzy seemed especially eager and sincere in her attempts to connect with me. I really appreciated that, but I was also really tired, so I'm not sure if I showed it or not. I look forward to hanging out with her (and June and Royce) more at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Clay and I went back to his place together that night. On the drive, he said how happy it makes him to feel that what we have together is really "A Thing -- capital A, capital T". So cute!!! XD

It's funny, I've always thought he was hot, but he's become absolutely gorgeous to me as our bond has deepened. I told him this and he reacted with embarrassment. I let it go at the time, as it was very late and we were both tired. The next day, though, we talked some more and it came up. He thanked me for my compliments, and shared a very personal childhood story related to his difficulty in believing that he could possibly be attractive. His vulnerability with me makes me feel so protective and even more deeply in love (who knew that this could continue to get deeper??).

Hopefully, he and I will have a just-us date this weekend -- I'm waiting for confirmation from him that he'll be free. And then, of course, as I mentioned in my opening paragraph, we'll be camping together for a couple of nights in just two and a half weeks -- fuck, it'll be so good to fall asleep and wake up with him multiple nights in a row.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 06-05-2013 at 04:33 AM.
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