Totally right, Annabel. That way it makes much more sense and I have to agree. And it is a mono relationship thing as well, because this is an old relict of Sward's and my relationship. Every time he is stressed because of seasonal working schedules or I am occupied with my studies/work, we encountered this problem. When we were alone, it somehow worked out, because there were 7 nights a week, giving us the possiblity for sex, as we never see each other during another time of the day. But not now. This should definitely help, I hope we can establish this new kind of routine.
What I find quite interesting, is that this isn't a problem Lin and I are facing or are likely to face, from my point of view. Even if I haven't sen him all day, we never fail to use our nights. Maybe it is because our relationship is still 'younger' or because we work in an equal way or because he is way more active than Sward or whatever the reason may be, but I don't think that this will ever be a problem for him and me. At least not to the extend Sward and I encounter. Ah well, never say never ^.^
I am still not that comfortable with the thought of actually 'working' on my relationship like that and in that way. But you are right, we-live-together-and-intimacy-will-magically-happen does not work. But I hope, that we just adapt to it and the strict schdule isn't needed any more SNeacail. Because I absolutely know what you described there, spontaneity isn't our strong point for sure when it comes to intimacy.
Luckily this seems to be the only factor we need to keep an eye on, the rest is as great as ever.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.