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Old 06-04-2013, 06:53 AM
mricha711 mricha711 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 12
Default New here. Frustrated single guy--how does anyone find a date anyway?

Hi there, I'm new to this site. Wasn't sure whether to post this in General discussion or this thread, but I suppose it fits in both. This might be more of a gripe/rant than anything, but it might be helpful to commiserate with some people who are going through what I'm going through.

I'm 21, bisexual, and live in the largest city in New Hampshire. I'm wondering how single poly people even find dates, because I'm finding it incredibly difficult to find any compatible people in my area. I've dated exactly one guy in my life, and it was over two years ago. And even that lasted less than a month.

It's not for lack of trying, either. I've had an OkCupid profile for quite a while, and there seem to be plenty of poly people in other states, but there's almost no one here. I've literally messaged every person in my area who's even somewhat compatible, but I've had no luck. There are maybe 9 actual poly people who live in my state who are on there, and I'm friends with half of them in real life anyway.

Speaking of real life, I have no idea how I would even approach people about this outside the internet. I have a really active social life, but most of the people I know in NH are either really straight or really monogamous (or really lesbian, lol.)

Don't get me wrong, I have thousands of friends all over the country who I wouldn't trade for the world, and I love my life in all other areas. But does anyone get frustrated the way I do? Is anyone else not logistically able to date AT ALL? I have a feeling I'm going to be single for the rest of my life if I stay here, and that thought makes me lonely sometimes. I'd rather be single forever than be monogamous, though.

On a more theoretical note: does it make sense to call myself polyamorous if I'm single? I suppose it defeats the purpose of "many loves" if the only person I love immensely is myself.
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