Ha, yeah, I said that in an odd way -- what I was thinking was that, in many people's accounts that I've read, scheduled dates seem to be a given for secondary relationships... how else would you ever get alone time with a partner you don't live with?... but are not always a part of primary partners' routines.
Oftentimes people seem to expect that if they live together then time for intimacy will just happen. And in some peoples' lives, that's probably quite true! But once you start making time for additional partners... especially with the added factors of busy careers, school, hobbies, kids... that we-live-together-so-intimacy-will-magically-appear logic can start to fail without people realizing why they feel starved for connection with their partner. Just my observation. I'm sure it happens in mono relationships too.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.