I'm a big believer in the value of scheduled dates for primary couples. If/when you guys have one or more kids, it will make even more sense to schedule time... at least that's what I've seen in Gia and Eric's relationship, if they don't actively schedule time alone together it just doesn't happen. I'm interested to hear how it goes for you two!
I'm sure that this holding pattern is stressful, and that can't be helping with the various negative cycles... but good on you for recognizing them and taking steps to make change.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.