View Single Post
Old 06-03-2013, 05:42 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 651

I am not satisfied right now. I haven't been for quite some time in regard to one special aspect of Sward's and my relationship: We have got such a bad timing. It is really unnerving and right now especially, as we haven't got much time together generally at the moment. And this is doubled by the fact that Lin's and my relationship is the polar opposite of that.

Bad timing in regard to discussions: I ususally tend to start a discussion, when there isn't enough time to finish it. Like this morning, when I tried to speak up about our timing problem. Yeah, great example how NOT to proceed any further.

Bad timing in regard to sex: We have had totally different rhythms ever since. This isn't new, but the more stressed and pressed our daily scedule is, the more it shows. Which makes us grumpy, which gets my moods stirred up, which gets his moods stirred up, which simply makes me and him even grumpier What kills my mood completely while he feels the need to be close. Bad circle.

Lin noticed that we are having problems and offered an additional evening for Sward and me while he stays in his room or goes out. Sward and I have the flat for just the two of us alone seldomly. This will surely help.

In general all of us are a bit dissatisfied with the 'waiting position' we feel in right now. It's like our life is on hold and some major changes should be just around the next corner .. but this corner is not in sight yet, or better: seems to be too far away for now. One expression of this need to do something productive showed yesterday. Sward was surfing when he discovered a second hand kitchen, just in our neighboring town. And an one year old oven in our direct neighborhood. He called, made two appointments, woke Lin and me and we bought a new kitchen and stored it at home before afternoon. We talked about a new kitchen since the day Lin moved in two years ago, but that was a really fast and totally surprising development for all of us.

I guess I have to be just as active with Sward's and my problem. I scheduled some time and simply set a date for this evening. I have never done that before and am curious if this could be a solution for us. As we don't need extra time to talk, we do that whenever we are together, we will meet for sex and expect just sex this time. Not being grumpy, not beating around the bush, just a different kind of 'quality time'. Feels a bit strange for me, but I am curious how this will work out.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote