I have a big week this week. Mono is away for two or three nights and I plan to use the time to totally distract and have a good time and relax. I am going to his female friends house tomorrow night to watch something with her and drink beer. The next day I am meeting my new mono friend for a couple hours time together and then dinner with Brad, who I have been seeing again. For now I enjoy his company and love. I care for him and it just, well, feels right.. I see little difference now in deep friendship and partnership anyway. Its all loving and fills my heart.
Derby and I are spending some time together. I have missed her company and with time I really hope that being friends seems much like how we were partners. I see no reason to change. Other than time expectations. She is struggling with the change of status however and I am doing my best to honour and validate her feelings.
Bring on the week.
Mantras this week include being in my body and just saying "me" over and over again in my head. Its stramgeky comforting. Occasionally I add a huge arm stretch and breath deeply so my chest spreads open and the pain in my chest disappates for a second.