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Old 06-01-2013, 07:43 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,341

For me, this forum and a couple of mailing lists started off as my "safe places" to talk about the things I struggle with.

I don't tend to talk about my problems in real life, anyway... it's pretty much just the way I've been. However, when I was going through some pretty big struggles in my relationship (mono/poly), some friends reacted as though I was the victim and my partner and his OSO were horrible, disrespectful people. Ugh. I have been told that I deserve better, that I'm not being treated right, and asked if he's THAT good in bed to put up with this.

With other friends, I feel a bit of the "ooo, let's watch the freak show" - one of my friends jokingly told me that she always loves hearing my stories, because my life is sooooooo interesting.

And honestly, the only poly folks I know are my partner and his OSO, so when I'm struggling with something and NOT ready to talk it through with them yet (in "processing" mode), then I'm kinda stuck there until I do process it. Talking over half-formed ideas with them tends to be less than helpful.

Now, in practice, I tend to not bring up many of my own issues, although I've been close a couple times (I usually end up working it out soon thereafter, so it becomes a moot point). It does help, though, to read what other folks are going through. Like BoringGuy, I like to see what the pitfalls are, so I can try to avoid them before we encounter them.

I've tossed around the idea of a blog thread, just to toss out the issues we deal with and how we deal with them, if it'd help anyone, but then I get distracted.

Oooo, shiny...
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