Originally Posted by redpepper
I don't get how to do poly wih this state of mind. It seems pointless and almost laughable. Maybe I will get it eventually. I feel nothing. No love for anyone, nor much care either. I'm completely on my own as far as I can tell. I wonder if anyone notices from the outside. I feel as if I am paying lip service to my relationships with everyone. Part of rebuilding maybe?
Maybe. You sound like I felt for years after my mother died (2001). I am just recently, coincidentally perhaps with resuming my old relationship, joining roller derby, & losing the weight I gained, starting to feel like my old self again.
I'm not sure exactly what happened to you to cause this, nor do I have any ideas for you on how to get through it. When I went through my phase, the one thing that helped most was my spouse. Well, two things - my Spouse and my cats. They make a mess; I clean it up. We tried it the other way around - I make the mess and they clean it up - but that didn't work as well, so we went with what works best.
ETA: agreed about the depression. they might just offer you drugs, but you don't HAVE to take them. sometimes they help though. and you don't have to take them forever if you decide to. i know you know this already, but maybe you need to be told it too.