Originally Posted by redpepper
I'm learning to be seperate and in my body. Its coming. I had sex and did it only for me. No connection to my partner. It was strange. Empowering and sad at the same time. Practice I guess will help.
RP, you've said elsewhere that sex without connection deeply hurts you. It's one of the reasons you don't have casual sex anymore.
Why are you learning to do something that is so harmful to you?
We change and learn and grow but, for you, this seems so extreme and very unlike you.
You are going through major shifts in self and relationships. You will jettison things that were once dear. But this seems like self harm.
I don't want to contain you - we are all more than what we write here. And I will accept and enjoy whoever the new RP is at the end of this particular hard time. But go read some of the things you've written about the kind of sex and connection you want and need to be healthy. You will see why I am so startled that the quote above was written by you.
In combination with the writing about feeling nothing, I, like lots of other people, am really worried about you. Please go see a professional.