Originally Posted by SNeacail
Please go see a doctor about depression. This has been plaguing you for so long, it doesn't sound like exercise and sunshine will be enough to get you through it. I'm no expert, please talk to someone who is.
Maybe you are right. I am no expert either although I do know that when no one is around and I am grounded, done my self talk and have found a way to smile, I'm okay. For longer times.
I am going through it. Its hard. I will go to the doctor if it gets worse, but its not yet. I would like to feel it all. Every moment. I am hoping that I will learn the most that way. If its getting better all the time then its not the time I figure.
My concern is that getting better means leaving what I know and starting again. Bailing on everyone and everything. Its my instinct I am fighting. Holding on and living through the motions when they come up, writing about it here at the worst points and carrying on is all I want right now.
Maybe more positive posts. Lol.