I want to thank you all for your responses. I am hopeful for the future whether he and I stay together or not. We're still in couseling, and he has expressed a heartfelt sorrow for his actions and for losing sight of what his family needed while he was away. I want to work it out. He's cut her out of his life in order to focus on us. I want to make it work too, but I don't think poly is something that I will brave again. I didn't have another partner at any point, and I wish I had been able to experience some of the positives that can come from such a relationship dynamic, but I fear my husband lacks the self control necessary to keep priorities in life in perspective while in NRE. Right now I am trying to get over all the hateful words that still linger, and the negative emotions that have been imprinted on my home. Any advice to get past that?