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Old 05-31-2013, 04:39 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Middle of Oregon
Posts: 422
Default After everyone else already pointed it out

I am sure you fully understand why it isn't smart to have any aspect of dishonesty with your SO, especially after you two had done all the work to make sure you had permission, there really is no point to not following through and disclosing the info.

There are many reasons why secrets in general tend to bring a lot of unnecessary pain into relationships. Once there are secrets, it takes an awful lot of self monitoring and constant reflection to make sure that you aren't treating him unfairly because of underlying guilt. I know that sounds fucked up since you were the one cheated on and you did have permission but just didn't follow through with disclosure, and everything will be fine after you tell him, but I just thought I would point out often overlooked ways that secrets do damage.

It's hard enough to be consciously aware of the real reasons I get upset. If I am running late for work, I find myself getting upset at cars who aren't in a hurry like I am. But the real reason I am upset is because I didn't give myself enough time to get to work, and it's all to easy to fool myself into believing it's the guys only driving 29 in a 30 zone that's the "real" problem when nothing could be further from the truth.

Not being able to be honest, letting secrets exist, stuff like that often sets people up for angry interactions with the people they are supposed to be loving. Sometimes the real reasons for all the conflict is never recognized

Honesty is the only way to create smooth sailing in your relationships

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 05-31-2013 at 04:47 PM.
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