Thread: Dave's Story
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Old 05-31-2013, 05:00 AM
Nox Nox is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 193
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Thank you for your feedback.

You can be sure I'm doing a check-in, but I may have mischaracterized. The only "pull back" she's done was changing my please be back to the hotel time from 6am to 1am. Other than that, she's given me more freedom at every stage.

I think, regarding condoms, that she was just making sure that she's going to be safe if we ever get that far, or if she extends more freedom prior to July. K knows T has had other partners and had them (relatively) recently. And while we both trust T, we don't trust her partners, which means we don't trust T .

An interesting thing came up in a discussion with T today. She said she "can't lie." At the same time she was saying she will do omission. I know that's just as bad to many people, but still, that makes me feel a lot better. I have learned to be much more secure our relationship. Also, it wasn't about me in this case, so it wasn't like she was trying to assure me of anything either.

Speaking of relationship security, I discovered something in the last week. I have a severe insecurity in knowing how people feel about me. This extends really badly into relationships. It took me until about 18 months ago before I believed K loved me completely. Prior it felt like she could get tired of me and walk away at any time. That she liked me a whole lot, but was missing something. I went through it with T too; always suspecting that it was an act. She was just using me when someone better wasn't around, etc. I trust both of them are being honest about their feelings now, though of course I have twinges. Neither of them ever had such doubts.

I suspected there might be a genetic component, since 1) I've never really had a bad relationship that would cause me to doubt, 2) my parents were always very free with their affection, and 3) my mom also complained about similar insecurities. I asked her about it and she had often doubted her husband loved her which from my perspective was preposterous. My dad never doubted my mother's love.

I'm curious to ask my brother to see if he got it as well.

I'm sure it's not completely genetic, but I'd guess the predisposition is. Anyway, I just found it interesting.
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Me: 39 straight male in a V with
Wife: Kay - mono female - married 16 years
LDR girlfriend: Susan - poly female - 2.5 year relationship
Stakes - very intimate friend
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