In reading your blog, I find myself wondering just how okay your wife is with you seeing and even being intimate with T in July. K seems to be doing a lot of flip flopping. Some days, she seems to be okay with it. Others day, you are left with as you put it--uncertainty that equates to stress. When I am unsure about something, I hesitate for a long time and never give clear answers. (Such as the case of her asking whether or not you would be using condoms but not clearing it up to minimise confusion.) I would leave the issue alone and do a check-in before you leave. She is obviously working through some feelings regarding this meeting and the possibility of intimacy, so let her work through them and ask her to come to you if anything changes.