Interesting! I really do have to weigh how much of what I've done is a revenge sort of thing. I think at first that's what it was, but at this point, what it's about is how nice it makes me feel. I'm thinking I should tell my husband tonight, just so it's all above board. I know if I kept it from him for any length of time, it would just be worse to eventually tell him.
I don't think this has anything to do with trying to solve our marital problems. We've really done a lot of work in therapy on what got us to that place where his having an affair was something he thought was the right thing to do. We both are working very hard at this, and he and I both believe we've got it right, this time.
So I guess I know the ethical thing to do is to tell him and get it out in the open and see what happens from there. I think the only thing holding me back from that is the off chance that he'll change his mind about being okay with it and then I won't get to be with Mike again, which was really, really fun.
I know I'm being selfish. And selfish was something my husband was when he had his affairs. I hate knowing I'm a hypocrite.