Originally Posted by london
In terms of veto powers, I would not be comfortable to enter a relationship with someone who had a partner who could end our relationship at any time they felt like.
I think anyone would have greivance being treated that way, probably because it's impossible to respect yourself if a person you are supposed to be in a loving relationship could or would just end it at any time.
Any relationship where people treat others like that is for the most part abusive. It's the emotional abuse that is no good, but having priorities with your obligations is not what is problematic. If the only way or the easiest way for your relationships to allow your life to run smoothly is without any sort of hierarchy, I would without any doubt use the successful dynamic
I would be weary too if a couple told me they have a pre-arranged agreement that either one of them could force the other to suddenly end the relationship for any reason, as anyone who let another partner have that control, that is likely not the only innappropriate control over their partners life that's going on
let's face it, unless they have some M/s dynamic that is desired and fully consented to that they never made you aware of, it would be a pretty fucked situation, some people get off on that and so long as they don't conspire against someone who doesn't consent or isn't fully knowledgeable and aware then proceeds to fuck with you to teach you humility or whatever abusive power tripping scheme that can be had, is just abuse
but not every dynamic with a hierarchy is fucked up abusive like that, or even abusive at all necessarily.
Abuse is abuse is abuse, it's what abusive people do, but it has nothing to do with hierarchy, as authority that is NOT abusive is a good thing