Originally Posted by CielDuMatin
GS, I definitely agree with much of what you have written and consider it great advice. I would like to give a different point of view on a couple of your points, though.
Thanks for bringing up a couple things. Damnnnnnn
And I worked REALLY hard on this one trying to compose things so there would be NO chance of misunderstanding or misinterpretation. Because there was SO much going on there !
Obviously I failed........
I usually don't reply to 'replies' except in such cases, as I'm afraid of too much back & forth can really distract other readers from the central point/thread.
But it seems I dropped the "clarity' ball here (aaarrggghhh) and if you misunderstood it, chances are someone else will also.
So - to clarify........
When you mention the 'conflict' and 'personal choice' we're basically not in disagreement. I alluded to as much later in the post.
The 'conflict' that exists is the taking on of a belief that sexuality MUST be limited to a setting of deep love, bonding etc when in fact life will continue to present opportunities to test & invalidate that belief. As we both agree - it's absolutely a personal choice - but with that we have to accept that life around us will continue to 'conflict' that choice. Because it's NOT the only choice on the list.
On your second point, I hope you go back & re-read my post "as a whole".
Because there were SO many elements surfacing there I tried hard to address as many as possible individually while still trying to keep the big picture intact.
The second quote of mine you used was pertinent to that particular topic of how we view our sexuality and expression of it (when/where/why).
As you say - and I addressed later - the way this all went down within the BDSM context was outside my point - basically that her action (I can't in good conscience use the word 'choice here it seems -and yet in the end it was her final choice ) to be sexual without 'connection' is not in and of itself a 'wrong' choice and could in fact be viewed the opposite. And how SHE views it - going forward will be important. End of point. Each individual will have to make their own "choice" in that regard as to what feels "right" to them.
So I hope this clears up any confusion that I caused in the interest of trying to be brief enough to fit within posting limits.
Thanks again for pointing it out.