MrMom, rebuilding the trust is not something you can do alone - you can take some pill and suddenly start trusting.
While there is still stuff being uncovered, while you are still in huge amounts of fear about what other stuff is going to come to light, then you aren't ready to start rebuilding anything.
To me, this is getting everything out in the open and damage assessment phase - has stuff happened that is a complete show-stopper for you?
Then you need to be prepared to feel what you feel, based on how you have been treated.
Then, maybe, you can start looking at rebuilding some trust.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb