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Old 05-29-2013, 12:58 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is online now
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,140

I'm sorry you hurt.

It's ok to feel shaken up.

Both of them take responsibility for the oversight and are willing to work with me, but... I just don't feel like I can still trust them.
Trust them to be mind readers? They probably cannot.

Trust in their judgement of choosing partners who are not nutjobs? That remains to be seen over time.

Trust in telling you a heads up? They are willing... but do they know WHAT is "newsworthy" to you? And WHEN do they do the telling? Do you want to be told of sexual behaviors with new people before the fact, right after the fact, never?

Since it seems that they are willing to meet your request to be "updated on the status" but then you end up upset that they don't disclose... You could own some responsibility in moving this forward to a better zone too. Could you TELL them what is "newsworthy" to you that you expect them to disclose?
Could a checklist help you all calibrate that boundary line more specifically?


"All this stuff on THAT side of line -- share or not. Up to you. THIS stuff on THIS side of the line -- I would like a heads up please."

Also could talk about polyhell and dealing with it. New people on the mix rock the boat sometimes unexpectedly as feelings pop up.


Last edited by GalaGirl; 05-29-2013 at 01:05 AM.
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