So I thought things were settling down. The weekend before last was truly wonderful. I had a really good time and felt normal for the first time in weeks. So much for that lasting. I'm not sure what the life lesson is here but if it's life's hard and it's not fair, I got the memo, you don't have to teach me that anymore.
Mostly at the moment I'm processing some hurt feelings. I do know it's not the end of the world or anything. And I will live and it will all be OK, but that doesn't atop my heart from hurting. I'm so much more emotional than I'd like to admit. I wish I could just shut it all off for a while and just feel calm. I know the calm is coming again bit I'm not sure when.
I'm also feeling very fortunate that my office is pretty much deserted today as I'm having a hell of a time holding it together. Tonight calls for cuddles and a good sleep I think. Last time I felt like this I was pushing my husband to get a posting somewhere else so I could run away from my life. So this time is better. I'm not looking to run away. I'm trusting that in time things will make sense. Maybe not in any kind of way I can see from right here and right now, bit they will make sense.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.