Originally Posted by nycindie
So, you make your schedule with whomever you wish, as you see fit, and let each of them know when you're available to be with them, but you don't need to go asking for permission like a child.
I liked nycindie's boundary-setting advice, but I think the above is a bit cut-and-dried. There is a big difference between 'asking for permission' and 'taking into account the other person's feelings'. I would be inclined to use the admission of not being comfortable to probe further and find out exactly what the issue is. This is important because you don't want resentment.
It's easy enough to say everyone has to set their own boundaries and work out their own hangups, but this is a lot less easy to actually do. Most people are just not that self-aware. I agree that the only people who have a say in a relationship are the two involved. But this isn't about your relationship with new guy, it's about your relationship with LTR bf, and he DOES have a say.