Last night, I accepted a last-minute invitation to watch Bee while Gia and Eric went to see a show that she had worked on the technical aspects of (got paid and everything!). For once, I didn't have anything else planned on a Saturday evening, so I was very happy to jump in, very happy to see Bee, very happy that she got a chance to see her work in action. Bee had his fussy moments, but on the whole he was delightful, randomly kissing me, flopping on top of me when we were lying in bed together.
When G&E got back, Gia was in so much pain from the condition she's been dealing with that she could barely focus. It was pretty upsetting to see her like that, though I kept my reaction under control, not wanting to make her feel worse. A day in severe pain is bad enough. Five days straight? Not ok. She's taking a LOT of pain medication (under a doctor's supervision), and it's not helping. I know it's not "my fault" just for mentioning that I had unmet needs, but there's a part of me that feels awful nonetheless, knowing that I did contribute to the stress that's put her where she is right now.
It's so odd, to have such wildly conflicting feelings in two of my relationships right now -- deep and settled love, lack of physical fulfillment, sadness and guilt and concern in one VS. new and evolving love, intense physical fulfillment, happiness and pride and excitement in another.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.