Originally Posted by midnightsun
My instinct is that I need to address the problem where it began... outside of our marriage.
Ok, I failed. BUT I am limiting my comments AT LEAST until others start posting, to this short one.
I beg to differ on this sentence and I think you need to REALLY be a bit more introspective about it.
This problem DID begin INSIDE of your marriage.
It wasn't a problem with ANY of the people you slept with, it was a problem with respect/trust/communication in one form or another-WITHIN your marriage between yourself and your husband.
Polyamory really hasn't anything to do with the ACTUAL problem. The ACTUAL problem created HUGE symptoms when you opened your marriage. But an open marriage wasn't the problem. You may cure the symptom by going back to a closed marriage-but you still need to cure the ACTUAL problem-which is a respect/trust/communication/boundary? issue between yourself and your husband.
No outside person can create OR TAKE AWAY your "connection" to your husband but you and he. No matter HOW many connections you make, that won't take away from or give to him any more or less connection with you.
Ok-that's it on my experience. AS I said-I DO have a LOT of experience on the topic (personal experience not training). But unless Stewy posts a request for me to share it-I think it's best I keep my mouth shut....