Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 05-25-2013, 03:13 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
First of all, my experiences are my own. I am not bashing poly. I am speaking about my own fucking experiences.
Your brand of what you call poly was missing the "amory" bit as far as Matt was concerned. You may love him, in your way, and he loves you, still, somehow, but the first rule of being polyamorous is "communication, communication, communication." Loving isn't enough. Respect and actually caring about your loved one's feelings is needed or, goodbye Charlie.

Quote:
I am sorry you have such a problem with how I did things. I give myself enough grief and the last thing I need is criticism. I have admitted that I should have done shit better.
Yes, so I am just agreeing with you. It is terrific you are finally becoming aware of your callous behavior. Better late than never. I also don't take Matt off the hook. He claims he protested over the years, was continually ignored and then he just rolled over and gave up. Somehow though, he finally made his feelings known! Why now and not 10 years ago, I don't know. I guess it's a Papa Bear thing. He handled it for himself by kowtowing to your selfish behavior, but once his kids were involved he finally roared.

Quote:
There is no one definition of poly. Obviously, I have the damn ability to love more than one, so your comment is way off base and unwarranted. With that, I am done. Have a nice day.
I'm sorry, I just felt it had to be said, especially since you're constantly wondering if you could or should "be poly" again in future, with Si or with someone else. Since you've not really had experience being poly, imho, this is the wrong question to be asking. That is all I am saying. There is no "one twue poly" but somehow I think riding roughshod over your husband's feelings, ignoring him, and him rolling over and playing dead is not part of polyamory.

It's great you've making changes, I do applaud that, and wish you (all 6 of you, Ry, Si, Matt, Nanny J and duckies) well.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
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