Originally Posted by Magdlyn
I appreciate you baring your soul here to this particular polyamorous community.
I must protest at your constant bashing of "poly." You, Si and Matt were NOT poly. At best, you had a mistress which Matt extremely grudgingly tolerated. He did not approve, he did not take joy in your relationship with Si. He seems to have resented almost every moment you shared with her, and abhorred almost every moment she spent in his presence or around the children.
So, I wish you'd stop characterizing the lovestyle of your past 12 years as polyamory. The definition of polyamory is loving more than one, with the knowledge and approval of all participants. Obviously Matt did NOT approve. Obviously you did whatever the hell you wanted without giving a crap about his needs or desires. You ignored him, didn't talk to him, conspired with Si without including him, et cetera, et cetera.
I wish you and Matt would understand you (plural) did NOT practice polyamory. And I just have to put that here, for newbie readers who may be on the fence and horrified at what you call polyamory.
When you wonder to yourself if you should ever practice poly "again," it's a false concept. You never did in the first place.
First of all, my experiences are my own. I am not bashing poly. I am speaking about my own fucking experiences. I am sorry you have such a problem with how I did things. I give myself enough grief and the last thing I need is criticism. I have admitted that I should have done shit better. There is no one definition of poly. Obviously, I have the damn ability to love more than one, so your comment is way off base and unwarranted. I do not need you to post warning messages to newbies. If you had a problem, you should have PMed me. With that, I am done. Have a nice day.