Sheesh DH, no I said I thought I must be doing something wrong because I COULD still walk. And I didn't need to get a silk robe, I made my own robe of course. No please don't call me Homemade Hef now.
One thing it taught me is that I'd enjoy trying two nights away with my non cohabitating partners (no not both at once - I mean not that two at once isn't on my list of omgplzhappensomedaybeforeimtoowrinkly)- a weekend away has been talked about with Greg but I doubt it would come up with Brian unless he brought it up. And this might've been fun but the turnover made things feel a bit rushed. Also all the extra bedding I had to cart around for the occasion *shudder*
On to serious stuff - Adam and I still have processing to do I guess, I suppose I shouldn't expect one month to have sorted it all out. He mentioned a game convention that is going on in a few months. Two women he told me he wasn't interested in, but then told he was interested in, will probably both be there, and a small chance of the third lady who he hoped something would happen with will be there too. I said I'd want to ask about what to expect there in regards to his interactions with them. I hoped he'd be sensitive to my stress about him seeing people he'd lied to me about, but he just said he wouldn't go out with them one on one but of course he wasn't going to miss group events or after hours parties if they happened to be going.
Work trips are a trigger for me, my Dad slept with what I'm pretty sure was hundreds of women on his work trips. My first husband cheated on me on a yearly work related trip and had been making plans for the next years event and seeing her again when he told me he had cheated. Adam met one of these women here but has interacted with both of them at conventions (as well as third party he was hoping something would happen with) and seems to romanticize the whole "im on a trip, this person is attractive, I want something to happen though of course nothing would happen". This upcoming convention happens to be local, but with all the information about his sneaky stuff so fresh, I'm feeling a bit raw. He says "I'm not even thinking like that" but since I didn't have any idea he was for almost a decade, its not so reassuring. None of these ladies did anything wrong, and I don't mind him seeing them, but I'm unhappy at his surprise that its a touchy subject, and I wish he was a bit more sensitive to how I might feel about it.
This seems so vague without a couple details since I left my longer spiel about it all out, but two of them are monogamous, no dating people without non-monogamy experience (or at least a clear handle on how it would work for them) is other hard agreement we have besides safe sex stuff, the other is poly but lives on the other side of the country and its not financially feasible to have long distance relationships At least now he's been able to explain why he pursued them after agreeing that he had no plans to, I am actually feeling somewhat better about things as he's been dropping the defensive and actually articulating what was going on in his head for several hard questions, thank God.