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Old 05-24-2013, 02:36 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,546

The fact that his girlfriend agreed to poly only because she thought it would never come to fruition, and then pretends it isn't happening, and chooses to ignore your existence, should tell you something. SHE DOES NOT ACTUALLY CONSENT!!! She will likely never be okay with it, and she will always try to keep him from any emotional involvement whatsoever. Her agreement was obviously a manipulation, done out of fear of losing him, but it was not a willingness to consent. SHE DOES NOT WANT POLY. And it isn't poly if all parties do not want it.

No matter how hot he is, besides the fact that he doesn't seem able to make his own decisions, do you really want to get involved with someone whose partner is not fully consenting and okay with it? Seriously? Don't you have enough self-esteem to walk away from a trainwreck when you see it? Oh, wait a minute -- you are refusing to see it. Oh well, I guess if you want to keep the blindfold on while you walk off the edge of a cliff, no one can stop you. Good luck with that.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 05-24-2013 at 02:41 AM.
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