Originally Posted by poiesisHagakure
Monogamy is jealousy, is a claim of exclusivity on someone's mind, on someone's ability to feel compassion.... no such thing as compassion should be limited or controlled.
This may well have been your experience of monogamy and if so, I'm sorry you got to that point. For some, the idea of committing themselves to one person is attractive, workable and I believe a legitimate relationship choice. I don't feel that it automatically follows that it is possessiveness or in any way limited. (for the record, I am not monogamous myself, but know several couples who do monogamy as well as most do poly, in my opinion).
It's only when you want out - when you want something different, that you feel confined and restricted.
The analogy I use is of a dog - I have had dogs around me all my life and there is one well-known fact that I have observed myself - you can have a container to hold the dog, be it a crate or a cage - you can put blankets in it and make it comfortable and the dog will love going in there and sleeping. But as soon as you close the door it won't sleep or rest but bark and bark until let out.
So it's not that the cage is uncomfortable, it about whether it is choice or not to be there that make the place nice or nasty.