Originally Posted by Kraven
As I read this essay on polyamory posted on freaksexual.com ....................
.........How does this age thing effect me...how bad do I really have it? I've never made a fuss about dating older women...in fact I've relished in the thought at times! How many friends do YOU know that are in this lifestyle for the right reasons and aren't just trying to have their cake and eat it too? Because I don't want to be associated or tied in with those types!
Too bad you hadn't posted a link to the article you reference - it might have helped the discussion.
As far as the age thing goes it's hard to say. I think in general there are advantages & disadvantages. I think younger people, by way of the fact that they are still investigating the world around them, are often in a better place to adopt new & better choices. They also often have the energy & bravery.
From living longer however comes wisdom (hopefully) & experience. This plays into the experience because many times "ideals" fall short of solid connections to the reality of what "is" at a particular point in time. The experience plays in when we find we have to adapt in order to move things forward. Knowing the side effects of some of those adaptations in advance helps avoid some nasty pitfalls.
Not sure where you are, but in the U.S. right now there seems to be a bit of a shift in the 35-under group back to conservatism. I think it's driven by all the uncertainty that's present in the world at this time and when people are fearful they, by nature, grasp out at things that are known & predictable - even if not necessarily positive. It's unfortunate because that can bring stagnation - even regression !
I do see an openness and willingness though for older age groups to embrace younger people who appear to have the right qualities but lack only the experience. You will likely fare better in that direction but anything is possible. Like you say - just a bit more difficult. We have a few younger people here on the forum it seems which is very encouraging.
Your reference to any group who "wants to have their cake & eat it too" is likely shooting in a sexual direction and there's no doubt in my mind that for them that's all it's about. Polyamory seems like a quick-fix but it isn't. Polyamory -although offering many benefits - is FAR more work in the long run and for those unwilling to do that work it will be disastrous for all involved. Being a veteran of other social movements and seeing this dynamic in action, I can absolutely not raise this warning loud enough !
Know what's involved, do the work, or DON'T GO THERE.