I don't see it as a contest.
He has some insecurity issues that he has had all his life and is working on them (growing up like he did will do that to a person). I am trying to help him reclaim the dom that has been suppressed for many years. As a matter of fact, I managed to trigger it in him a couple of days ago on a phone call, and I am hearing some fire that I haven't heard in a VERY long time.
I do not want to ruin that for him. If he needs to remember what he used to do for me as a dom (which I miss the hell out of btw) then I will do what it takes to facilitate that.
He is broken and is about to be medically retired from the military after 15 years (broken by the armys standards, not mine). It has done some damage to the self confidence that he took years to build. I will do what I can to help him restore that. If that means letting him feel like he can make this situation with my bf safer for me by showing him what I like and what is safe, thats what I will do.
I see what you are saying, but we are built more into a triad, so D is becoming involved in a lot of this as well (it is new to him). D is also naturally very confident, so a confidence boost for J wouldn't hurt anything and won't take away from my time with D. Win-Win.
LadySFI- me; Pansexual, Heteromantic, Poly. "Open, but not looking".
C-Boyfriend - Pansexual, Heteromantic, Poly. "Open, but not looking".
Courage isn't the absence of fear, but the judgement that something else is more important than fear. -Ambrose Redmoon
Last edited by LadySFI; 05-23-2013 at 09:03 PM.