Originally Posted by Ssandra
. . . I prefer complete openness and knowing all the details, including sexual ones, about my husbands relationships.
He prefers to not know anything or as little as possible and only in so far as it matters to the relationship he and I have.
According to your golden rule, I would tell him every single detail about my relationships, and he would tell me absolutely nothing about his relationships.
Which would lead to 2 very frustrated and unhappy people, who neither are getting what they want, yet still treating the other person as they prefer to be treated.
In this particular case I think it is better reach for a compromise. He tell me as much as he is comfortable sharing and I deal with not knowing every single detail.
And if I ever have another relationship, I'll share with him in big lines what is going on but keep the details to myself (or post them here on the forum
That way we each treat each other how the OTHER wants to be treated (the platinum rule mentioned before), instead of how WE want to be treated (the golden rule).
What you are talking about is the Golden Rule -- treating people like we want to be treated means treating them with respect for their individual needs, not giving them what we want. That's ridiculous. Gah, come on! The Golden Rule is about empathy and reciprocity, and recognizing others as individuals. It is about people treating others in a manner
in which they themselves would like to be treated. Not treating them like clones of themselves. If you want kindness and consideration shown you, then treat others kindly and with consideration. Duh. (Not "Duh" to you, but "Duh" in general)
It amazes me that people take the Golden Rule so literally that a silly Platinum Rule was made-up for them just because they clearly have no clue what the Golden Rule truly is. In the Bible, it comes from the verse that says "Love your neighbor as yourself," which is NOT the same as "Give thy neighbor what you want for yourself" or "Make thy neighbor coffee the way you drink your coffee." Egad.