Thread: Wide Awake
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Old 05-22-2013, 08:46 PM
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SNeacail SNeacail is offline
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Originally Posted by FullofLove1052 View Post
My thoughts could be skewed because nothing in my life is the way it has been for years and years. I have had to face myself. I beg to differ when people argue that all of this could happen in a mono relationship if you change out the person with a career, hobby, children, etc.. No, no, my dear. Those things are very different from an intimate relationship with another person. I love my children with every past, present, and future beat of my heart, but I am not IN love with them. I am not romantically involved them. They have needs, but they are not needs for dates, intimacy, quality romantic time, me sleeping next to them all night, etc. Totally different. Crappy communication? Yes, that can happen in any relationship.
Yes there is a bit of a difference with and intimate relationship, there is an added level of emotions and sex. However, it's not unusual for people to ignore/neglect the more demanding side of life for the more rewarding things, where the ego is constantly stroked and your made to feel good. You talk about before you were only a 20% wife, the same happened with my husband and his activities. He allowed himself to be deluded that he was doing all these activities for his boys, when in reality, they wanted him at home - he was doing these things because it fed his ego. Household chores, being a good husband, going to sporting events, helping with homework was thankless, demanding, boring and never ending.

Now, I know this has been beat to death, but was Matt's problem really with the "intimate" side of you relationship (even before kids) or was it because he was made to feel 2nd best?

My life has been turned upside down. Nothing is the way it used to be. I no longer no who I am or what is best for me. I am second guessing every decision I have ever made. I want to avoid making the same mistakes again,
Not necessarily a bad thing. More of us should take stock of what we have before it's too late and question our decisions more.

losing sight of what was right in front of my face. I am not sure how I was living is how I need to keep living. The past two months might have been a wake-up call that I am doing this thing called life wrong.
Not necessarily wrong, just way out of balance. Getting back into balance, can mean some extreme swings to the opposite of where you were, but eventually, things will level out. You guys have made a lot of progress, remember that.

Am I even poly?
If you can love more than one person at the same time, then yes! Now, being able to make it function is a completely different issue. There is no easy or right solution. Some things will work, some of the time, other times, nothing works. I think many poly people are situational poly.

And in other engagement ring does not fit. I cannot get it past my knuckle. Seriously? Out of 10 fingers, my ring finger is the only one that is swollen? Ugh. This is the first time in 12 years of having this ring that it would not go on my finger. I wear a band at work, but I wear the set at home. Is this another sign? I texted Matt, and he was like, "We can get it resized tomorrow."
Have you seen your GP recently? Geesh, you medical professionals make some of the worst patients .

Last edited by SNeacail; 05-22-2013 at 08:50 PM.
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