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Old 05-22-2013, 08:21 PM
Ssandra Ssandra is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
Right. And now I want coffee...

I can see the confusion, though, in practice... at least in my relationship.

There are certain things in our relationship that I tend to take issue with, while my metamour does not. If I am bothered by something, even if she's not bothered by it, I will not do it to her (unless, for some reason she asks, which hasn't happened).

But this seems counter productive for a healthy relationship, at least to me.

For example: I prefer complete openness and knowing all the details, including sexual ones, about my husbands relationships.

He prefers to not know anything or as little as possible and only in so far as it matters to the relationship he and I have.

According to your golden rule, I would tell him every single detail about my relationships, and he would tell me absolutely nothing about his relationships.

Which would lead to 2 very frustrated and unhappy people, who neither are getting what they want, yet still treating the other person as they prefer to be treated.

In this particular case I think it is better reach for a compromise. He tell me as much as he is comfortable sharing and I deal with not knowing every single detail.

And if I ever have another relationship, I'll share with him in big lines what is going on but keep the details to myself (or post them here on the forum ).

That way we each treat each other how the OTHER wants to be treated (the platinum rule mentioned before), instead of how WE want to be treated (the golden rule).
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