Thread: insecurities
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Old 05-22-2013, 07:08 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
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Originally Posted by Oly1 View Post
Problem is, now I find myself sort of obsessing over the possibility she will (again) rekindle this relationship. Every time she's out or late I wonder if she went to see her. I feel a sick need to look at her computer/phone and see if they've communicated. I stand in the balcony waiting for her to come back to see if she gets out of her lover's car. I have dreams in which I find out she's been lying to me, and I wake up angry at her (stupid, I know)....I don't understand why I have these thoughts/impulses
So she's never lied to you but you obsess night and day over the fact that she might be lying to you?

You are correct that this is much ado about you. *This* is one of those things I would actually recommend therapy for. Therapy is actually designed to get to the bottom of a specific issue like this and they have the tools to teach you to grow past it if you can find a shrink who isn't a complete tool.

Originally Posted by Oly1 View Post
I believe in poly because I never want to be lied to or suspect such things of the person closest to me. How did I end up here?
There isn't a relationship style which keeps us safe from being lied to or distrusting. People lie sometimes, which is a bummer, and we need to decide what we want to do about it.

As far as getting over the *prospect* of someone lying to us? That's an emotional problem and, again, I suggest therapy.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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