Originally Posted by BoringGuy
"treat others the way you want to be treated" does NOT mean, "i'll make your coffee the way i like it because i'm assuming everyone likes their coffee the same way".
It means "i like my coffee a certain way, and we should all make each other's coffee however the other person likes it"
Right. And now I want coffee...
I can see the confusion, though, in practice... at least in my relationship.
There are certain things in our relationship that I tend to take issue with, while my metamour does not. If I am bothered by something, even if she's not
bothered by it, I will not do it to her (unless, for some reason she asks, which hasn't happened).
I'm sure some would consider this the "golden rule", but it's not - I'm not really doing her a favor, but I'm doing it for my own peace of mind. If I'm uncomfortable being treated in a certain way, then it tends to be that I'm uncomfortable treating someone in the same way.
This involves some degree of respect for the other person - you don't want to treat them in a way that you feel is disrespectful, but it doesn't quite
feel like the full intent of the Golden Rule... is there an Aluminum Rule?
Many people don't go that extra step to figure out what it is that the other person wants
, and only go so far as to act in a manner that they find respectful. Hence, the Golden Rule not looking the same to everyone.