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Old 05-22-2013, 06:00 PM
Ssandra Ssandra is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySFI View Post
Oh I totally understand this. It was the other way around for me. My husband wanted every single detail of what my boyfriend and I were doing and it made me really uncomfortable. I don't know why. Maybe it has something to do with not being allowed to have a relationship with no privacy. Maybe it was because I didn't need him fishing to find things he wasn't happy with. I never identified it, but I rarely feel awkward about things and here I felt like I was being grilled every time I got together with my bf. I did eventually just give up and start answering some of his questions. I realized it was how he was coping with the new relationship even though it made me a little uncomfortable at first. However, I made it quite clear I felt grilled for information and I didn't like it. We evolved through it, and now he doesn't ask a ton of questions. I think he needed to know that I wasn't hiding anything. I think that once he realized I was going to be completely open and honest, he felt more comfortable. Once in a while he asks a question I am still uncomfortable with. I still haven't identified why yet either.
For what it is worth, I'm very similar to your husband. I also want each and every detail. Of course, I am not him and I don't know if he wants it for the same reasons....

But for me the reason was NOT to check up, to grill for information or to check if nothing is being hidden. For me the reason is to feel included. To feel part of that part of his life. And also to share in those things that are important to him.

And yes, with time that gets less and less, at least, that's the way it seems to be for me right now.

So, for me it has nothing to do with not trusting him (if I wouldn't trust him I wouldn't have agreed on him dating someone else), but everything with "being a part of...".
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