Well... Life sucks then you die.
Posting here (even though some probably consider me very neurotic and obsessive) has helped so much.
I just got news from the doctor that 1. I am at risk for GD (gestational diabetes) and 2. I should still refrain from having sex with my husband for a while more.
The first one sucks, but we will only know for sure with a second test. And even if that is the case, usually it can be controlled with diet.
The second one is really annoying.
Before my husband had his girlfriend, we had a very different libido. Although mine has gone down with pregnancy (from preferably every day, to several times a week), due to complications we haven't been together much. I think during the entire pregnancy we've had sex maybe 5 or 6 times (due to morning sickness, placenta previa, infections, contractions, etc).
And now he has this NRE going on, has sex multiple times whenever he can with his girlfriend, and I cannot even enjoy the "left overs". I don't mean left overs in a bad way, but this new sexual energy has carried over to him at home as well, and now I cannot even enjoy it.
This sucks big time.
I think it is healthy how he feels now, and I love seeing him being more sexual, but at the same time there is a tiny selfish part of me that wishes for him to go back to his usual state of not caring about sex. It would make it easier for me.
This entire situation is just badly timed. One year earlier, one year later and everything would be so much easier!
On a positive note though, she is coming to the first aid for babies course! I like that because it means that she plans to stay involved in his life (which will obviously include his daughter) and because it is a chance to all be together in a neutral environment and have things be more and more normal.
He is taking her on a short holiday (4 days, 3 nights) in 2 weeks, which I'm happy about. The plan was first for them to go later, but I don't feel comfortable with having him be so far away, so close to my due date.
After their holiday, he will spend less and less nights away the closer that we are to my due date. I feel bad for her, but luckily she understands that that is the way it is.
We talked today about how much and in which way does he want her to be involved in his life. She is involving him in her life, introducing him to her friends, some family, etc, but for now she is not really involved in his life. He doesn't know yet, nor does he know how much she wants to be involved in his life. It will be difficult, because all his friends know me as his wife so having "the talk" with them might not go over well, especially not with the wifes of his friends... but we will see. It is up to them, I'll be here if anyone needs confirmation that I'm ok with it.
I will invite her to my baby shower that will be with just friends (my husband will not be there), and I think, unless she has other plans) that she will be there. The good thing about that is that some of her friends, who I know as well, will be invited as well and can see first hand that I am still friends with her, and that things are ok.
I'm rambling... I know. Thanks for those that read this. Getting it out of my mind helps enormously.