I would have a problem with that. My husband does the same thing. Subtle hints do not work. I could walk out butt naked in a pair of red courts, and sometimes I believe he would not notice because he is so wrapped up in whatever he is doing. We have an understanding, and he knows to put the phone down or shut the laptop when we need QT.
You should not have to always ask. It is just common courtesy. It is routine or habitual for him, and it needs to be broken. A quick message, "Hey. I am with Mo. I will talk to you at a later point. I hope you had a good day. I love you," would do the trick. If it is supposed to be your time with him, that is where his attention should be. I understand that she does not live there, and he misses her. Blah blah blah. How would he feel if you were texting and chatting with one of your friends during your time with him? Like during dinner, pulling out the phone and holding a whole conversation. I get the feeling he would not like the lack of attention. I always encourage people to do what is being done to them and let the person see how it feels to be his/her shoes.
It is clearly bothering you, so you need to tell him. You have talked to her, but you need to talk to him. Call him out when you see him slipping into that habit. It is okay to need one-on-one time with your hubby. Ask for it. On second thought, demand it. She gets one-on-one time, and you deserve the same. I am so sick of hearing the word "communicate," so express what you need to him. Write him a note and leave it on his pillow or somewhere he is guaranteed to see it. Send an e-mail. Whatever it takes to get it out and in the open.
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.