Originally Posted by Ceoli
I choose to have relationships based upon the person and that's it. And if they as a person don't contain the qualities I need for a thriving and healthy relationship in and of itself and regardless of what other relationships I have, I don't have a relationship with them. I don't take part of one and part of another. So far, having experienced this in real time and "the real world", it seems an entirely reasonable and not idealistic thing at all.
Thanks for helping me to get yet more clear in my own understanding on this, Ceoli. I also don't seek further relationships because of something lacking, some quality I imagine I need to collect like stamps or butterflies.... And I do see my relationship with my partner (of 14 yrs) as "thriving and healthy". And he and I connect real nicely in numerous ways -- but I know there are ways we cannot connect because of our temperamental (?etc.) differences. For example, I'm quite a verbal person. He's not. That doesn't make either of us bad people, or incompatible. It does make our relationship more challenging than it might otherwise be. I love him no less because of our difference in this dept. He loves me no less because of it. We love one another very much. And our differences challenge each of us to grow, develop, expand.... So there's nothing wrong, per se. And I am not actively looking to complete my stamp collection or anything. But, yes, it could/would be real nice to have another partner who can meet me in some of the ways my sweet K cannot.