Originally Posted by River
What Ceoli says here is a nice ideal to shoot for, and it's worthy of much respect, but I would add that I think (my opinion) that very few people compliment one another in a totally complete sort of way. Most very good relationships, good and healthy relationships, involve and include both (or all three or four...) feeling as if there is some less than perfect connection or complementarity. As a good friend put it to me, we all have to do some "putting up with" in our relationships. Ideals make good targets, but are seldom realized in space and time (a.k.a., "the real world").
I'm not saying that things that people "put up with" don't exist in ideal relationships, but those things are not what make or break a relationship. However, I don't go seeking relationships based upon what is lacking in what relationships I might already have. I seek relationships with people, not with qualities that might be missing in one partner but evident in another so that when you combine them, I get to have all the qualities I want.
I choose to have relationships based upon the person and that's it. And if they as a person don't contain the qualities I need for a thriving and healthy relationship in and of itself and regardless of what other relationships I have, I don't have a relationship with them. I don't take part of one and part of another. So far, having experienced this in real time and "the real world", it seems an entirely reasonable and not idealistic thing at all.