awesome, awesome date with MrBrown
still glowing and smiling, he has just left my house. Great talks, some about stuff that is hard for me to talk about, but it seems that with him I can talk about anything. He makes me think, he makes me question, he makes me look at things from a different perspective. Most of all he makes me feel alive, powerful, and strong. I love him
I cooked a spectacular dinner that looked like it would serve 4 but he ate most of it. More talks, drinks on the couch, cuddles and kisses, and then some interesting play - there was pain, and in the end I hurt him a little too, which I'd never done before, and it felt quite exhilarating.
there was a very powerful moment where he was doing something I wanted him to stop doing, and I asked him to stop, and he stopped but very slowly, and he asked ' do you trust me' and I was for one very brief moment scared to say yes, because I thought if I trust him and he keeps doing this anyway, then everything between us will be damaged and broken. And then I thought if I give in to that feeling and say I don't trust him it will be broken too, and I DO trust him, even though I'm scared as hell right now, so I said yes I trust you and he stopped and then I broke down and cried out of sheer vulnerability, I felt raw but also really really strong, it was amazing.
he spent the night, we slept in, some sexy time, a slow breakfast, and now he's gone and I'm alone in my house today which hasn't happened for weeks and I'm enjoying every single second! Alone time is the one thing to keep poly people sane I think.