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Old 05-21-2013, 08:05 AM
Oly1 Oly1 is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 28
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I'm sorry afar. In my previous post I somehow missed the part where you posted an update about all the deceit and cheating that was going on.

That sounds horrible, I'm sending you hugs.

I know it must be terribly hard to rebuild trust in this situation, but if it is what you want to do for yourself and for your family, I hope you can.

I found this video (3 parts- third one is the best) very helpful in dealing with poly confusion, it is actually about cheating, so very relevant for your situation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVIVjOi5SCs

If you don't watch, I'll just quote this one idea you might find comfort in: in the current prolonged life expectancy, it is probable we'll all have more than 1 meaningful, very-long-term relationship in our lifetime. Some of us would have these relationships with the same person. You could view your current situation as the beginning of a new relationship, "your second marriage" (she says it better in the video).

And it is Ok in my opinion to take some time off/away (physically) from your husband in order to regroup. Take care of yourself. Wishing you luck.
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30, lesbian, my wife- R, together 8 years, wife's "something"- C, cheating on her wife with R + others
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